Feeling rejected and dejected, she traveled miles away, leaving her own home to find a new sanctuary to nurse her heavily injured heart.. at her own home, she couldnt help feeling estranged, rejected and dejected by her own kins.. she has traveled from one home to another until she settled down in her new sanctuary.. A year has passed since then.. The almost a century old mother has tasted the bitterness of feeling unwanted in her own home..
Her dear husband has left this world, resting in peace.. Helpless and vulnerable as she already is, she has witnessed her own kins are drifting far away from her, one after another.. her most-dear child has turn himself away from her in her own home, completely disregarding this old mother's heart despite her tender loving care throughout these years.. hoping for the wound to heal over time, she moved in to another child's place within the close vicinity.. and yet again, she was hurt.. she has been rained with reasons and excuses hinting of wanting her away from them.. with the remaining strength and guts, she tried her luck with yet another child of hers, but only rejection was left to be harvested.. her maternal heart was stabbed several times by her own children..
Having not much choice in her hands, she was determined to step out of her own home a year ago.. there, she had to bid goodbye to the place where she had harboured the love with her dear husband and children for more than half a century.. with heavy and wounded heart, she had carried herself traveling miles away from her own place to a rather foreign land.. The small language differences didnt hinder this mother to find a new sanctuary.. here, the residents of her new sanctuary hope that she'll feel loved and happy.. unlike in her own hometown, the small language barriers here might limit the daily communication but the people here are hoping that she can feel the love they harboured for her.. i'Allah..
A mother's heart would still be wounded upon thinking of her ingrate children.. deep down she still harbour high hopes of wanting to come back to her own home.. it is her very initial sanctuary after all.. thousands of memories were crafted there with her late husband and children, that place was where she had lived her entire life.. and may it still is, a dream she has kept deep inside her heart..
On the sacred day of Eid-ul Adha, with high hopes she expected to be invited back home upon knowing one of her child was visiting her at the new sanctuary.. after a year away from her own hometown, she misses her initial sanctuary back home, and perhaps harboured the intention of visiting the place where her husband was laid to rest.. for that, she has waited the whole morning for her child to arrive.. "When are they arriving?", "Where are they now?", "Are they here yet?".. these questions were rained anxiously by her the entire morning.. her waiting has come to an end when the long awaited child arrived at 3.00pm.. the 3 hours of meeting was far fetched from her expectation.. there were neither a single word nor an invitation uttered by her child of wanting to bring her home.. she was feeling devastated and rejected yet again.. just minutes before the break of Maghrib, the child asked for the permission to leave.. her strength had completely diminished, she couldnt hold her tears any longer.. once the child step out of the door, the poor old mother burst into tears, feeling deeply wounded.. succumbed to feel totally rejected, she just couldnt stomach to waive her child goodbye, staying inside sinking in her sorrow.. after a while, she could only mustered her remaining courage to say that she has resigned to her fate of spending her days at the new sanctuary.. she has no other place to go but here.. wouldnt that break your heart to see a vulnerable old mother sinking in her sorrow, deeply.. i dont know if her heart can be sutured anymore.. it is beyond repairs, too many scars and painful wounds to be nursed..
For all i know, the people of the new sanctuary are trying their hardest to provide for her needs with love.. they just hope whatever they do will help this old mother to mend her broken heart, despite deep inside they just know, it is nowhere near from the reality.. yeah, reality bites!! a mother's heart is delicate and only tender loving care can nurse it healthily.. while the Almighty still loan her to us with limited lease of time, all we need to do is to care for her.. i'Allah, with this, it is hoped that she can be a proud mother.. i pray hard that my mother and myself will not experience any of this horrific tragedy.. i'Allah, i hope my sisters and i will always remain true to love our mother with all our hearts despite what happens.. i cant even imagine what my life would be without her..
Anyways, i pray for the children of this old mother to find their way back home and remember to love her with all their hearts, cherish her while she's still here.. i hope they will suture back the every broken pieces of her heart together and nurse it with full of love.. may they will come around and realize that they'll be old too someday.. Only Allah knows best, what the future might hold for us.. we never know if what goes around comes around.. Allahua'lam.. in the meantime, let's love our mothers with all our hearts, if we are drifting away, take a second to remember their sacrifices, giving birth to us, to raise us, to put up with our unreasonable antics, to nurse us with love.. whatever it is, we just have to remind ourselves that "Syurga itu di telapak kaki ibu"
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