Im Dyslexic, are you?

or is it lack of self confidence? hurm, beats me!

to me spelling is hard.. it is so hard that even simple words that we use everyday like "Happy", "Celebration", "Challenge" can get me confused and drag me to take a peep in the dictionary.. i thank Merriam Webster & Mozilla Firefox for being such great personal assistance.. i've lost count of how many times i found myself stuck on my writing because i got myself confused over the jumble up spellings especially when it is a handwritten task.. in fact, as im writing this, im very much depended on Firefox's spelling check, thank god that Firefox enables spelling check on this browser, that's why i prefer Firefox over IE as my favorite browser.. i cant remember how many times i have hit the right click button to correct my spellings..

it's not that im unfamiliar with these words, i know how they are spelled.. perhaps, it's just more of my plain carelessness.. i can get easily confused when my inner voice starts questioning "it that its correct spelling?".. that's why a simple word can be a real toughie.. damn, it's more of confidence problem, i reckon.. tehee!! an instance that i can quote is about what happened yesterday when i wanna write a birthday wish to my colleague, K.Marsel.. i was about to write Happy Birthday to you and suddenly i got myself confused when i heard my inner voice questioned "is Happy correctly spelled as Happy?" damn, it's annoying is it? i feel stupid when i cant even spell a simple word that we come across daily such as "Happy".. huhu!!

for having this "disability", i find meetings and brainstorming sessions are among the most dreadful things in the world.. it is because my boss loves to ask me to jot the gist on whiteboard.. it dreads the hell out of me as if im caught in a horror movie.. to hide my "disability", i would normally jot the gist in short forms accompanied with hideous handwriting so that no one would notice my jumbled up spellings.. tehee.. another dreadful scenario is during exams.. i dun have merriam-webster or firefox by my side to help me out.. i cant neither use short forms nor present my hideous handwriting on examination sheets.. so what are the options i have? i would just have to settle with what's best i have and pray hard that my spelling just wudnt fail me.. Deep Sigh!! it's hard to be dyslexic, aight..